Self Worth

My car broke down a couple nights ago in a remote area, I called for help but it took my friends hours to arrive, I laid upon my car and felt such a frightening feeling that rushed to my fingertips as I gazed at the sky, and I asked myself “what if I died right now?” “have I done right?” “do I matter?”. I struggled with self worth growing up duo to taking up individual sports, It fed my ego like no other, thinking about how the kids happiness and hard training lays within my reach, the feeling of out performing them was how I viewed myself. Out running every kid in my class was the reason why I had the best sleep in 1st grade, I spent the rest of my next years seeking approval, I viewed myself from people’s peepholes, I spent years with no self worth. I think a lot about how as a Muslim I’m the same as every fellow Muslim and I can’t accept it, I think about all I’ve gone through and experienced, the things I did and everything I saw but I simply ask myself “I surely worth more” ironically. I know people go through worse but I lost empathy and I feel selfish, I want to feel good but it seems like a mirage. I just came back from the mosque, I saw the happiness, sadness, grief and celebration, I saw people, I saw self worth within them, or frankly none, we were humans out of all races and journeys seeking help and guidance from above, I felt my worth or simply I understood my being. Praise Allah

عن النعمان بن بشير رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صل الله عليه وسلم: (مثل المؤمنين في توادهم وتراحمهم وتعاطفهم كمثل الجسد الواحد؛ إذا اشتكى منه عضو تداعى له سائر الجسد بالسّهر والحمّىّ) [صحيح مسلم]